Desmond Marquez - Male Mommy Blogger

What Should Mommy Do - About Desmond Marquez

Hey Mommies, well what can I say about myself, hmmm…. I’m a premed student turned writer/mommy blogger, (not to mention with dyslexia), total aviation nerd, and did I mention….. I’m a gay male with no children of my own….. (yet)? So you may be asking yourself, “How can Desmond have the knowledge or experience to write a mommy blog, (let alone book series focused on moms) !” Simple……. “ I’m the gay best friend to moms!

If you’re a mom that has a gay best friend, let me tell you, they probably know more about your life and your struggles than your girlfriends all do put together, (not to mention your husband as well, but that’s a whole different discussion will save for later). This all might sound so cliché and to some level,(and it probably is), however, as my friend Gabby put it “Stereotypes originated from somewhere”.

Many of my close friends are great moms and a few will be soon, since they recently discovered they have a bun in the oven (shhh, I’m not supposed to say anything yet). Having friendships with moms is so meaningful and truly authentic because you can’t get any more authentic than being a mommy!

So my story on how I became a writer is bitter-sweet, then a lot more bitter-but ends with SWEET.

What Should Mommy Do - Author Desmond Marquez
What Should Mommy Do - Desmond Marquez Dog

the Beginning…The Idea

The idea of What Should Mommy Do… came into my mind right when my Australian boyfriend broke up with me randomly. So, after 2 days of mourning (this international long-distance relationship), I focused my attention on my childhood friend, who was going through her own issues at the time. She had just taken her son to the dentist for a toothache and received the absolute worst care imaginable. This particular dentist didn’t explain anything to her about her son’s dental care, nor did he want to be bothered with any of the questions she had. 

For some reason, hearing this story (just days after my breakup) made me forget about “The Australian”. I was so appalled by her son’s care, I told everyone about it who would listen. And then…. at 1 am, while lying in bed listening to jazz by Paul Hardcastle, it hit me, write a book series ….. From writing on card stock to typing away on my laptop, the idea of creating a series of books, just for moms, somehow lept from my mind and came to life. 

What Should Mommy Do - Author Idea

And Then My World Collapsed….

My mom ( my best friend) had been winning the battle with kidney cancer for almost five years and was doing great. Then in late November of 2017, things took a sudden turn for the worst. Her cancer had quickly spread all over her body and wasn’t responding to any sort of treatment. It was such a shock because my mom was feeling good, taking pilates reformer, and looked fantastic.

My mom was truly my biggest fan of the idea of What Should Mommy Do. Being a school psychologist, and amazing mom herself, she really believed that What Should Mommy Do… could impact an entire generation of moms. 

Then, in a hospital ER, on Christmas day of 2017, my mom was told she had less than a month to live. It was January 17, 2018, when she became an angel in heaven. I have never experienced so much heartache in my life, my mom was my best friend who I confided everything with. I honestly didn’t know how I would go on without her.

The thought of knowing that I wouldn’t have a mother by my side, to see me fall in love, get married and have children was just all too much to process. However, I then remembered one of the last things my mom told me, “What Should Mommy Do… will be a phenomenon…, I promise you!”

What Should Mommy Do - About Create

And Then…… Things Started Clicking!

It took me a year in half for me to revisit What Should Mommy Do… , and it honestly occurred because I was fired from my job at a marketing company. Yes, I was given the boot, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me! With the support of my amazing dad and the constant encouragement of my friends, I decided to put everything I had into What Should Mommy Do… It’s so funny, I’ve heard so many times in my life, things happen when they are supposed to happen. This couldn’t be truer! 

Everything surrounding the book and my life just started clicking away (fast). It was an odd feeling at first because nothing ever just clicks with me. I felt (and still feel) my mom guiding me along this predetermined path, where doors just kept opening. 

The spirit of my mom and her unconditional love has channeled right through me. And here I am now, almost 2 years later, a writer and author of a book series.

I truly went from sweet-bitter to BITTER-SWEET!